Healing Happiness: The Hidden Cost of Shame

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Shame is not innate -it’s learned, inherited, and passed down through generations. And while it may once have served a survival purpose, its cost to happiness and self-worth is profound. In this conversation, we explore how shame disconnects us from our sense of worth, how it functions as a trauma response, and why happiness cannot coexist with shame. We also look at the evolutionary roots of shame, isolation, and belonging - and why shame often feels powerful even when it makes no logical sense. Trauma isn’t always a single catastrophic event. Sometimes it’s the quiet disconnection from self-worth. This is a compassionate, trauma-informed exploration of why joy disappears under shame, and how understanding this is a vital step toward healing and happiness.

0:00 - Why shame is foundational to understanding happiness
0:38 - Shame as a learned and inherited behavior
1:10 - Why happiness cannot exist where shame dominates
1:42 - Big T trauma vs. small t trauma
2:15 - How trauma disconnects us from self-worth
2:45 - Breaking down the meaning of “ashamed”
3:25 - Shame, isolation, and evolutionary survival
4:05 - Why shame persists without logical explanation
4:40 - The “should” cycle and loss of joy

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